Monday, December 12, 2011

Technology and what to use for what...

I now have a facebook account and am loving it... it is a good way to see what is happening with a lot of people I won't connect with if not for it (as much anyway... )...
Bringing it all together to make somethign functional is interesting... finding what is going to work for me is somthing that I believe is still being formatted.
How long does this process take? A lifetime right...
Well we shall see...
Hope all is well with all that read this... spelling mistakes, grammer errors and all other issues...

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of
 your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for dreams,
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center of you own sorrow, if
you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled
      and closed
from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain,
         or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want
         to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own;
if you can dance with wildness and
let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without
    cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the
limitations of being a human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;
     if you
can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray you own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy. I
    want to know if you can see the beasty eve if it's not pretty every day,
         and if you can
source you life from God's Presence. I want to know if you can live
          with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a
   lake and shout to the silver moon,  'Yes!'

It doesn't interest me where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
         weary, bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside, when all else falls
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself; and if you truly
like the company you keep in the empty moments.

                                    The Invitation, inspired by Oriah Mountain Dreamer,
                                                                   Native American Elder, May 1994

Church - where I'm at with it...

I have headed back to church... this is something that has been a long time coming... though in saying this it doesn't mean that I am a complete believer of what my home church is about... I can still see the little contradictions... but I am here to learn to live and accept pain... to learn how to be brave in spite of it being a difficult journey... to practice hearing others' pain and being empathic not listening with sympathy... (I'll put up a difference later).
With the development of these skills hopefully I will accept contraindications of a church… hopefully one that is the least flawed/best aligns with my values…
I hope to show this strength to my children… learn about multiple churches/religions so that they too can go through this process to find their faith.

Finding ME

Whilst Sean is away... indefinately... after wollowing in feeling I am pulling myself out to get back to and do those things I want to...
CLOTH NAPPIES and NO NAPPIES is one of these things... I am so excited... BEN HAS A BIG BUM!!!
Here comes my motorbike learners,
All the gardening projects I ever wanted,
Managing my own money without compromise,
Re-connecting with churches,
having friends over, visiting, and connecting with others...

I hope to get a lot more done over time including adding pics up here... having an unschooling journal.

Coming Down to Earth

AAARRRGGGHHHH... I feel as if I am a addict. Addicted to behaviours I have learnt from my loving Grandmother... It usually isn't as bad when she isn't here but when she is AAARRRGGGHHH. I an addicted to second guessing oneself- worry and concern, needing to feel secure by understand it all.
I need to retrain myself... any suggestions?
I have a few...
All of this is an assistance to stopping myself from being brave. Trusting in myself and the direction I am given. I so want to live my life free of this bullshit.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Praying and NVC

I have found that praying doesn't work when following another prayer with NVC. Prayer for me has just resulted in more guilty feelings and if I cannot forgive myself then how will I ever be able to trust that God will do it? It just doesn't make sense;
For my son Jacob at the moment he is scared that Mummy will get lost... (he's 3)and it is because he knows that even though he wants to do things like catch the train by himself he won't as he has admitted that he doesn't know the way home (my Gran's at the moment)... and to prove to him that I am not lost we have set up calling me on the mobile to reassure him I can be found. (I hope that he doesn't take this to heart for him though... )
Until we experience something ourselves then it isn't as true as it needs to be for us to be able to trust in it. This is just apart of the growing process that I tend to forget as a parents and as much as I try and show him real things I am not ready to let any animal die so that he can see how dangerous electricity is. So there is limitation here too.

ANZAC DAY- What it means to me

Today was ANZAC Day and with my assessment pieces...(finally in yes!!) looking at critical literacies I really couldn't help but notice that this statement made at the dawn service in Toowoomba; "Freedom isn't Free" - this was to justify ADF existence and what happened in the past... it really bugged me; yes I agree to a certain context- yet this is probably not meant that way nor if it was, was it made clear;
Freedom to feel safe isn't free because it has to be learnt and earned and it isn't until then that we will be free of fighting in such violent manners. Acceptance and Education on how to deal with conflict and know/feel reassured that you will be heard is all that is needed!!!

Please if you think that it is that simple I know that there is a lot of work behind this but if we really want our children not to have suffered the way people of the past have... we need to look at educating so. Children live what they learn. And no-one is really teaching how to cope well with pain, suffering which is of everyday  importance for growth!

With all the resources we could ever need at the 'tip of our fingers' then really we have two very powerful tools; the internet (information for all on everything) including cultural difference and empathy. And it isn't a matter about you catch more with honey... I am talking about authentic practice to have the skills to deal with violence and prevent it. As if you don't know Violence is just a suicidal attempt at expressing an unmet need- Marshal Rosenburg's NVC and growing from this work 'Don't Be Nice; Be Real'.

Recently I have been establishing what traditions we have within our society that I want to follow and celebrate within my family and why… I have noticed that all are good though they all can be shown in a negative light as well. I vow to show my children the positives and educated not ignore the negative aspects when they come in contact with them and why we celebrate it the way we do.
ANZAC Day for me is a celebration of past commitments to each other in the highest form; even though I might not agree with violence what I do acknowledge is that in those times understandings such as the ones that I am able to access to find better alternatives would not have been available as easily. Thus it isn’t their fault that they didn’t know of a better solution and therefore not the skills to implement.  These people did what they thought was the best thing and it was the best thing at the time and that is something that all of us need to accept; no one will do something the same; it is also highly unlikely that we will ever use the exact same muscles in the exact same way when we are doing the same task!
We have two modes when threatened on a serious level fight or flight, evolution can change this a little. I know of a better solution and I hope that I have the courage to stand strong in what I believe in.